You know how everyone thinks sloths are so cute and adorable? Well, here is some excellent evidence that seems to counteract that fact. The only thing that's reassuring about this photo is that sloths are slow. If this guy could go any faster than a grandma with a stroller, then we'd move anywhere else in the entire world where they weren't, because it would be the sloth uprising. Sloths aren't the only animals out there that are unexpectedly terrifying. Here's some twists on your favorites (yeah, bears are scarier than you thought) and some new and exciting animals to be freaked out by.
In Germany a disease got into some South American bears. They lost their luxurious fur, which would make you think they'd be as funny as a hairless dog. That's not the case this time, as apparently bears are somehow more terrifying when bald.
The fluorescent blue rings are beautiful, that's undeniable. Thing is, they appear when the octopus feels threatened. And when they bite, well, that's game over. The tetrodotoxin it injects you with hits you with paralysis, weakened muscles and lack of breathing before you die in minutes. Oh, and there's no anti-venom.
Off the coasts of Chile and Peru are the weirdest fake rocks you'll ever see. Basically, if you crack it open you'll think you're looking at the insides of a rock monster. What you're looking at is Pyura chilensis, a marine invertebrate that wraps itself in hard surfaces until it makes this gravelly appearance.
Some caterpillars blossom into lovely butterflies. You touch this oddly-spiked one and you're blossoming into excessive blood clotting and internal bleeding. Brushing against one isn't a death sentence, but a lot of times they hang out in bunches, so watch out.
This little escargot is slow but somehow eats fish. That's because its harpoon-like tooth pumps out a venom made from a combination of hundreds of different toxins. Once a fish is stabbed, it's paralyzed and then nibbled on by the snail, which is a fun way to die. That little tooth is also sharp enough to cut through wetsuits.
From the "oh god, keep this in the deep" files, the goblin shark is found very far into the ocean depths. Which is great, because not only does it look like a monster-movie extra, it also has a lovely spring-loaded mouth to eat its prey.
This one is odd, not so much in the mature version of the frog, but when it's a tadpole. When it's time to get out of the eggs and into the pond, they need to eat something. So here begins one of the grossest mother-child feedings ever concocted: Mommy Dearest lays unfertiilzed eggs and the tadpoles' fangs — that's right, fangs — cut through and eats them.
Fisheries in lakes hate these eel-like creatures, and with good reason. They latch onto fish like trout with their rows of tiny, razor-sharp teeth and suck them dry or tear at them until they're just bones. Millions are spent a year to eradicate them, and it can be tough to catch them altogether.
This lovely little guy is a Japanese Giant Salamander caught going for his afternoon walk at the Kamogawa River. In this particular instance, the police came out to look at this fun friend, but really, what are police going to do about a ridiculously over-large salamander? Nothing. They're going to look at it in fear and let it do what it wants to do.
Now that we know that the world is a horrifying place filled with creatures that can scare the daylights out of you or eat you, let's all thank our common house cats, even though they suck.