Well, guess what? This lady has earned the right to make people wait on her. Anyway, that crowd behind her looks like a bunch of young, able-bodied people. If you don’t want to wait, why don’t you actually walk?
Can you really blame this old man? Back in the day, he didn’t have access to the world wide web of pornography. He probably got his rocks off on getting a peep of some ankle or wrist on an ill-fitted Victorian dress. Let the man have his fun.
Well, that statement is in a Visa Card, and do you know what the old tagline for Visa was? It was, “Visa, it’s everywhere you want to be.” Now, if you don’t see how that applies to vaginas, then I’m sorry, there is little I can do for you.
I really hope nobody replaced this guy’s oxygen tank with this as a cruel joke. All I do know is that the nursing home is going to be lit tonight. Doris down the hall is going to get a 9 p.m. (hey, that’s late) text asking, “ U up?”
Hey, when you get to be her age, you’ll have probably met an impressive amount of s**tty people in your life. Old people get to hate everyone, because society treats our elders poorly. So she gets to hate whoever the hell she wants.
“Carol, kids actually have fun on these things? I don’t know if my vertigo meds are kicking in, but I literally feel nothing. Let’s head back home and watch reruns of Golden Girls and maybe I’ll pop a Viagra. I need something to give me a lift today and this carousel isn’t doing it.”
I don’t know why this guy just parked himself on this street corner, but hey I don’t mind the view. Maybe he’s a geriatric prostitute and that’s his corner. He’s just given up on making much of an effort.
This grandma is getting more action on her 80th birthday than I did on my 25th. Maybe she’s just trying to make Gerald down the hall jealous. After all, he did sit next to Shirley at bingo the night before.
“Harold, this can’t be right. It says I’ve gained an entire old worthless husband. I know what you’re doing Harold. You do this every time we go to the doctor’s office. It’s getting old … just like you.”
Umm, she totally is exercising … exercising her right to do whatever the f**k she wants! This would literally be me in the gym at her age. Who am I kidding? I wouldn’t even make it to the gym at her age. So, you’ve got to give her props for getting there.