Dutch tourist Sid Frisjes was visiting Paris when he tried to take one of those funny forced perspective photos where you hold the tip of the Eiffel Tower. You know the one. You've likely seen countless versions of it floating around online. But as you can see, he failed BIG TIME. That's okay, though, because in this day and age, any mistakes can be easily fixed, obscured or touched up with a little Photoshop magic. What could go wrong?
What went wrong was that Sid turned to 4chan for help. Poor, poor Sid. No one taught him to never ask the internet for help on such trivial matters. The internet is like a cursed monkey's paw. Sure, they can grant your wish, but if you're not careful with the way you phrase your request, you're gonna wind up regretting it. Luckily, the rest of us will get to revel in it. As you'll see, the results – posted below – are hilarious.
3. I Just Got Back From the Eiffel Tower and Boy Are My Arms Tired
See what we mean? He wanted the Eiffel Tower under his finger, and that's exactly what he got. It looks like he also got super powers. Surprised there isn't a flaming man, an invisible woman and a giant rock thing hanging out with this fantastic fella. I wonder if he can stretch every part of his body like this. Best not to imagine it, especially if it'll also look so disjointed and in such poor resolution.
It's a bird. It's a plane. It's a guy being trolled! This is a much better power to have. Although has he never seen The Incredibles? Don't you know the dangers associated with capes? And what's with those underwear he's wearing outside of his pants? It's literally in the name, dude. Under. Wear. As in to wear it under. If I wasn't so sure you also had super strength, I'd make fun of you even more.
The Karate Kid franchise has really gone off the rails since Karate Kid 2. Though I will say I'm still impressed with his vertical leaping ability. Maybe he should try joining the NBA. Hell, if a dog can play basketball in like 40 Air Bud movies (I'm only ever so slightly exaggerating that number, by the way), I don't see why they wouldn't allow a young grasshopper. Snatch the ball from the other team's hands, Daniel-San.
So what do you do when the internet is dragging you with hilarious results? You seek help from your friends and family. Unfortunately, that can sometimes make the problem worse. Case in point, this image wasn't done by a troll. This was his grandpa's serious, honest to goodness attempt at a Photoshop. Oh, Grampy. This is somehow even more cruel than those 4chan creeps, and that's saying something. Maybe try to fix the problem yourself next time, pal.
Photoshopped Eiffel Tower or Burning Man flashback? You decide. The Photoshops got more and more creative, as they tend to do. Here we see what looks like a culturally significant monster in a life and death struggle with a duck shadow puppet in the day time. Who will win in this epic battle that is as ferocious as it is deeply confusing and also utterly hilarious? Only the fates can decide. Those cruel, hilarious fates.
Not all of the trolls were so mean, however. Some actually wanted to lend a helping hand. And by "hand" I of course mean a piece of heavy construction machinery. But hey, it got the job done, didn't it? The hearts were a lovely touch as well. This still won't be a great photo to show off, though. Everyone's gonna be so confused as to why he would climb on someone's equipment when they weren't looking. Rude, Sid. Real rude.
9. I Didn't Choose the Troll Life, the Troll Life Chose Me
Here's another honest to goodness attempt at helping the guy out. Unfortunately, it seems the most skilled people in Photoshop are also the meanest. This looks like attempt number two from old Grandpa. What was going through the head of the person who did this?
"You asked for it and I delivered. You're welcome, Sid. No need to thank me. It's just what us heroes do."
*shuts laptop, pats himself on back, goes back to living in his Mom's basement.*
Ugh, the worst type of troll. The type of guy that responds to "Can I borrow a dollar?" with "I dunno, CAN YOU?" Grow up, foot-face. This is the adult, technological equivalent of "Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!" You know what the most frustrating part of this is? This is a Photoshop job that even Sid could have pulled off. At least they're starting to run out of steam... right? Surely there can't be any more left.
You didn't honestly believe it was over, did you? They were just getting warmed up. Everything you saw before was just 4chan cracking its collective knuckles. Now we're gonna get into the real trolling action. Look at the splendor of this work. Know what would make it even better? Look at it while imagining a club house music remix of "London Bridge Is Falling Down." Now imagine the reggae horns hitting. Yep... I've put too much thought into this, but it is the optimal experience for this pic.
Look, yes, poor Sid is being mocked. But every experience can be a learning experience if you look at it the right way. For example, we all now learned that if the Eiffel Tower were ever bent at a ninety degree angle that it would look like a dope Star Wars canon. And all we needed to figure that out was the Alderan-level destruction of some poor sap's social life. I say it was worth it.
Not pictured: Hundreds of tiny tourists, screaming. Way to be a jerk, Sid. Why did you have to go and get irradiated and grow several dozen stories just for a picture? And yeah, maybe it was nice of you to take the shot away from a bunch of tiny humans that could have been accidentally stomped on, but did you have to uproot that national monument? This is gonna be a nightmare to fix, you monster.
From the creators of E.T., it's E.E.T., the Extraterrestrial Eiffel Tower. This might be the best solution. Sid has been so thoroughly humiliated that there's no reason to live on this planet anymore. It's time to follow E.T. home, to a world where no one knows who he is or what he's gone through. Heck, their planet is probably nice. Just chock full of lovely photo opportunities, seeing he's the first human there and all. Hopefully, he won't ask for Photoshop help on those.
Instead of going to E.T.'s world, maybe Sid would rather go to Jurassic World. Yeah, going back in time and threatening to unravel the fabric of reality just to make a new friend that won't mock you and can help take the picture you craved is likely his best option. But don't worry, Sid. While the internet can be ridiculous and troll like pros, it has a short attention span. You and your dino pal will be fine in like a week.