You can't just walk around with a live animal stored in your chest cavity. Nobody does that bro. Clearly you're just trying to show off your new jacket and start flame wars with Red Sox fans. Don't get your cat involved with your petty baseball beefs.
"I'm so casual! Who has time to trifle with small things like making the bed! Zooey Deschanel has probably never straightened a duvet in her life."
Well I'll tell you something- in a recent podcast, very successful entrepreneur Tim Ferriss credited making his bed every morning as the first step to a successful day. Not to mention your own cat is curious as to why you've got a Dyson in the corner when you don't even have carpets
My sister just got married recently. You want to know who didn't RSVP for the wedding? Her cat. Cats can't RSVP because they don't have thumbs to hold pens and phones aren't proportioned properly for the cat's head to make calls. The whole idea is ridiculous, and a really snotty way of bragging about finding your soul mate while the rest of us make fun of cat pictures.
4. Oh Look I Can Afford Exotic Fluffy Cats and Real Books
Must be nice to purchase cats out of a cat catalog and not have to pick them up for free off craigslist or from an abandoned barn. I bet that cat came with both its eyes and didn't even smell like cigarette smoke. Let's keep the humble brag going by showing your off your real books and 1500 thread count Egyptian Cotton comforter. How's life in the 1%?
At first look, you would think this is the work of a sad, unemployed day drinker 2/3rds of the way through his first sixer. He may not have a lot left in life, having thrown away all friendships and financial success for the bottle, but he's still got his best friend Mr. Meowgi. Unfortunately, it's clear that's not the case when you realize only a cat could catch a buzz on four coors lights.
This is probably the kind of person that makes their cat pose for pictures on it's birthday. You know, like with the little cupcake and like one candle? And it's got a birthday hat on? Well cats aren't supposed to eat cupcakes and my mom said Captain Crackers didn't run away just because I didn't make him cupcakes and that he'll probably be back any day now and he'll tell me about all of his adventures over the last sixteen years. So suck it computer guy.
This is just unrealistic. Fancy Feast doesn't make cans of wolf food. What do wolves even eat? Caribou? I think it'd be almost impossible to find Caribou flavored dry food too. You know what they say about wolves, too- super cute when they're babies, but bloodthirsty spree killers when they grow up.