Dresses don't have pockets. Where else are you expected to store your shit when you're out on the town? The bartender's not going to mind if you take a wad of cash out of your lady pillows. It's not like it's gross and sweaty or anything!
At any moment in every women's lifetime (or, in fact, probably at several moments) a woman will find herself in that do or die situation. You know, when you've started your period (surprise!) but there's no tampon in sight. And so you have to make do with the resources on hand - which is usually just a wad of toilet paper and a prayer.
Dry shampoo is a discovery more important than fire. Screw washing your hair. Now you can skip one or two washes and still have fly looking hair! Or maybe you skip more than one or two. Maybe you skip, say, eight in a row? It's dry shampoo! You can do this!
7. Putting On Today's Makeup Over Yesterday's Makeup
Did you know that the Mona Lisa was painted over another painting? That's kind of like what you're doing every time you put on fresh make up over old make up, so it makes it okay and not gross at all! You could never achieve that perfect smoky eye look if you didn't have yesterday's smudged eyeliner there to help you out. It's got your back!
8. Looking At All The Gross Stuff On Your Pore Strip
Bras are expensive, and they like to warp in the dryer. So why risk having to shell out another $50 on a bra by washing it? Just don't ever put it through the laundry, and you'll never put that push up bra you got at the Victoria's Secret semi-annual sale in danger of getting ruined. It's more of a self-preservation kind of thing!
Growing weird hairs on your face is a part of womanhood that everyone experiences, yet nobody talks about. You just wake up one day and BAM! There's a lady 'stache on your face. You don't know why your mother never warned you this would happen, but you do know that you're not going to tell your daughter it's going to happen to her.
11. Using Your Spit As Make Up Remover When You Make A Mistake
Working with liquid eyeliner is very tricky, and you're bound to make a mistake. And when you do, you turn to nature's make up remover - your own damn spit. What? It's like right there. It's so easy to use!
12. Spraying Yourself With Extra Perfume Because You Didn't Want To Shower
Sometimes you wake up late and don't have time to shower. Sometimes you're just lazy AF. Whatever the reason, perfume is there for you. You can still smell like the delicate flower that you are, knowing full well that you belong in a garbage heap rather than a garden.
There are so many reasons why you'll eat in your bed. You're going through a break up and are depressed. You're on your period and are having cravings. You're too tired to eat in your kitchen off of a proper plate. It's Wednesday. Whatever. Long story short, your bed is your second dining room that you use more than you use your first dining room.
No matter how old or how buried at the bottom of your purse that piece of gum is, you will chew it. You will blow all the accumulated hairs and dirt off of it and put it in your mouth. You know how the five second rule means you can eat food off the floor? There's a purse gum rule, which says that as long as the piece of gum was found in your purse, it's still sanitary - even if its wrapper was lost eons ago.
15. Shed Everywhere And Not Doing A Damn Thing About It