Oh, moms just don’t get acronyms. Even if she did think “LOL” meant “lots of love,” it’s still kind of inappropriate to send this through text. A death is something that you should report in person or at least through a phone call. That is, unless the person who died was a total douche.
Don’t moms understand how google works? For the longest time I thought SMH meant "stupid meat head." But, thankfully the scenarios where I would say “stupid meat head” and “shake my head” were pretty much the same.
I much rather get a stiffy than a Swiffer for my anniversary. But, I don’t have a boyfriend, so I don’t even get an anniversary. The only stiffy I get is a stiff drink down at the local watering hole, where I cry over not having an anniversary.
The only time I would be happy to go to the hospital is if an epic penis put me in there. That would of course belong to Michael Fassbender. The reason it would put in the hospital is because I’d faint from the mere sight of it.
While this guy is clearly a cake enthusiast, I really think he should be challenging himself more. If this kid is old enough to text and employ dry humor, he is old enough to subtract two from ten. Maybe he just needs a new tutor.
Much like the first slide, death is something that shouldn’t be relayed through text messaging. Death warrants a phone call. Also, that’s just cold. This person didn’t even say sorry or say, “My condolences.” Kudos to the wrong number guy for sticking up for himself.
This is the most ferocious police dog I’ve ever seen (kidding). But, that cop does look pretty ferocious. I wonder if they have a good cop/bad cop thing going on. The human is really drilling into the guy, and the dog comes in to give the perp kisses and asks for belly rubs.
This text exchange is short, sweet and right to the point. I’m sure that this guy was given a wrong number by some girl he was hitting on. That should teach you to not start off a conversation with a girl with a half-naked selfie.
See, if my mother did something like this, maybe I wouldn’t feel so self-loathing. Instead she texts me in the morning telling me that my ovaries are drying up and that I’m going to turn into a spinster. I think it comes from a place of love, though.
Well, that put a damper on their announcement. They better be going with the family though. If they are just going by themselves, they probably should get divorced. There is no good reason on Earth why two adults would want to spend their vacation days in a children’s amusement park.