This may seem noble, but it's actually an epic romance fail. Sure, it's chivalrous. But they won't appreciate it if you're dead.

Speaking of being dead...

It's always appreciated when a guy takes care of errands. But it's better to work smart than on the verge of imminent danger.

Having sparks fly in your face is pretty bad. Know what's worse? Having zero oxygen fly in your lungs.

Look, if a brick falls and caves in his skull, that'll suck. But ruining his hair would suck even worse. By wearing his helmet like this, it ensures he won't have to worry about his hair no matter wear a heavy object lands on his noggin.

When riding a motorcycle, it's vital to always wear a helmet. Or a bucket. Sure, that's probably just as safe.

There are many signs that you shouldn't move in with your significant other. This has to be at the top of that list. Not just the stupidity of it, but the fact he doesn't have any friends to help him out. That's a big red flag.

Teamwork makes the dream work. That dream? To have a huge, gnarly gash running up the length of his spine. Hey, I'm not gonna knock someone's hopes and dreams, no matter how strange they seem to me.

Yeah, this guy is pretty stupid. But his helmet is on correctly and it's actually a helmet. Sadly, that puts him near the top of this list when it comes to IQ.

You could warn this guy. But if you do, he might wind up reproducing some day. Maybe he's doing all of us in the gene pool a favor.

"Come on! We can't just sit here and watch-"

"Just think of the gene pool, Johnny. Now pass the kettle corn."

I have to see the picture that came three seconds after this. Although I assume it doesn't exist. Hard to think to take a picture when you have to rush your pal to the hospital/morgue.

In relationships, you can't love someone else until you learn to love yourself. I have to imagine there must be a similar philosophy in police work. You can't protect others if you can't protect your own ass.

Remember in elementary school when that one kid got a trampoline and suddenly became way more popular? That's not what happened with this kid. He's probably wondering why no one accepted the invite to his birthday party.

Okay, I admit, this looks bad. But let's play devil's advocate for a second. Do we know how hot it was on this day? If this took place in Arizona this is a perfectly sane course of action.

[Reads sign.]

[Thinks about safety first.]

[Next thought is how the sign looks crooked and how he can totally fix it.]

Hey, technically he did think of safety first.