When we're the only ones doing it, the rest of the planet aren't the weird ones. We are. We seem mighty strange to the rest of the world.
You shouldn't try mocking a stranger. You especially shouldn't try mocking a stranger when this is your profile picture. Life lessons learned the hard way.
A little sensitivity can go a long way. So can making sure you know what you're talking about before speaking. At least we know why they won't miss any of these folks.
"What the hell? Why would they send me a circular bread loaf? Whatever, I'll eat it. I just won't be happy about it."
Guys aren't even allowed to rent cars until they turn 25. You want them owning two? I think you're setting the bar a bit too high, ma'am.
Does it take 27 for triplets? How long was the Octomom pregnant? Why won't they teach us these things in school?
Oof. Denied. This is how you deal with pick-up line fails. Outwit them and be blunt about your feelings. Make them reconsider doing this to anyone else.
Ah, the old "It Was My Friend." Second only to the tried and true "I Was Hacked." Unless, they're into it, of course. Then that's exactly what you meant.
Never judge a book by its cover. Even if that cover is terrifying and doesn't seem to know what it's doing. It just may save you from serving hard time.
"Maybe if I wait a couple of hours before responding she'll actually believe I was hacked. Yeah, that'll work! It's totally believable that's what really happened."
"It's awful. These police are real marksman. I saw these shot right into someone's ears. Thank God they seemed to be okay."
"That was my friend! I mean... I was hacked! Does this work for when you embarrass yourself in non-sexual situations?"
Treat folks poorly and they'll treat you poorly back. Karma is funny like that. Not as funny as this clapback, but still. Pretty funny.
I want to call this person out, but I can't. The sentiment is accurate. Also, it may just be a troll, and you should never feed the trolls.
Often what you hate in others are things you don't like about yourself. Usually it takes years for people to figure this out. Other times, it only takes two hours.