Drinking and texting don't mix. Unless you want to find evidence of a hilarious text chain the next morning. These people probably should have hid their phones until they sobered up. But fortunately for us, they didn't.
An actor prepares for a role by doing breathing exercises. Some people prepare for a conversation by drinking. Don't judge the process!
"Oh, thank god that it was you who took me home. I was worried for a minute that in my drunken stupor I fell into a time/space portal and was transported home that way! That would have been nuts, huh?"
If you're traveling internationally, make sure you repeatedly tell the authorities that you're not a terrorist. That way, they won't think you are one. Because if you were a terrorist, you wouldn't insist that you're not, would you?
Well, he's not wrong. And honestly, everyone knows that the human body is 60% water. Nobody knows what percentage of the human body is Frosted Flakes. Someone get this guy a medal for his contributions to science.
You know that your parents party when you're not around. You just don't want to have evidence that your parents party when you're not around. At least this kid's dad didn't text a sext meant for the mom?
Cut to: four years later when this person competed in the National Spelling Bee. They came so, so close to winning, but ultimately one word was their downfall. What word was that? You guessed it, glowstick.