While you were in the other room, your lovely children decided that they wanted to make you some breakfast. They got as far as breaking eggs all over the floor and opening a jug of water. It's the thought that counts, right?
Her son writes her to tell her about camp and about how he now loves to light his farts on fire. Everyone get your farts ready! Little Billy is coming home and he is ready to light them all on fire! Hey mom, aren't you proud?