I was a terrible server, so I had to make my tables love me by talking.. and talking... and talking. But some people just want to eat and be left alone. Feel out your table before you bombard them with your whole life story.
I know that this sounds bad, but when you wait tables you start stereotyping. You judge a table the second you see them. What they are going to order, how they are going to treat you or how they will tip. And sometimes you're are wrong. Sometimes you are right.
Look, you have to understand something. It isn't their job to ask you that. That means the hostess is flirting with someone in the kitchen or eating in the back and they aren't doing their job. Cut your server some slack!
Don't take this the wrong way but.... she definitely isn't flirting with your boyfriend. She is asking him what you want to order because you are probably giving her the stink eye. She is not there to steal your man. She is there to finish her shift and get out of there as fast as humanly possible.
If you have ever waited tables than you know that it is a really hard job. It's rough on your body, people are mean and you feel like a servant. So, yes you may get a rude waiter here and there, but try to put yourself in their shoes and be nice.