Sure, Mr. Gacy killed 33 teenage boys and young men (26 of which he buried in the crawlspace of his home), but did you know he also had a sweeter alter ego known as Pogo the Clown? Gacy performed as Pogo at various parties, charitable events, and even visited children in the hospital.
Seriously, everyone loves a clown, right? No one has ever had a nightmare about a clown chasing them. Clowns are everyone's BFF.
Sure, Ricardo Leyva Munoz Ramirez — better known as the "Night Stalker" — terrorized the greater Los Angeles area from June 1984 until August 1985 and killed at least 14 people, but if you asked good ol' Richie nicely, he'd pose with you for a photo. This is actually Ramirez's wife whom he married while on death row. That is just a wonderful love story between two people who may or may not be bats**t crazy, and I for one cannot wait until it becomes a delightful rom com starring Resse Witherspoon and Chris Helmsworth.
Colombian serial killer Luis Garavito was charged with the murders of 172 children (resulting in 139 convictions) back in 1999. But because Luis was such a swell guy and helped authorities locate most of the bodies, he was sentenced to only 22.1 years in prison! We tip our hat to you, good sir. Thank you for all the good work you do.
Dubbed the "Vampire of Sacramento" for drinking his victims' blood, San Jose native Richard Chase only entered homes with unlocked doors. Apparently, locked doors were a sign that he wasn't welcome. It's so hard to find a serial killer with such good manners these days. If only all serial killers could be as polite.
Kidnapping, necrophilia, killing more than 30 victims. I think we can all look past that knowing that Ted Bundy once saved a drowning toddler at Green Lake in Seattle. They don't make them like they used to. And by "them" we are referring to really standup guys who turn out to be serial killers, of course.
Although the Zodiac Killer struck fear into the hearts of many, he also was sweet enough to mail into local newspapers some really cool puzzles for families to gather around and decipher together. And family time really is precious time, so we should be ashamed for condemning the killer so quickly.
This one is on us.
David Berkowitz, better known as the "Son of Sam," killed six victims and wounded seven others in New York City over the span of one year. Berkowitz claimed his neighbor's Labrador retriever, Harvey, demanded the blood of "pretty girls." I mean come on; labs are totes adorbs, so we can't fault him for listening to one.
Also, in one letter, Berkowitz claimed that, "The wemon of Queens are z prettyist of all." Ohhh, Davey! You are incorrigible!
Did you know that while Dennis Rader, more commonly known as the "BTK Killer" ((bind, torture, kill) committed his horrific murders over the span of 30 years. Yet he still found time to be a Boy Scout leader? See? Rader got it. He understood that the children really are the future. Whitney Houston ain't got s**t on him.
Ed Gein was one twisted person, but you can't say his love for arts and crafts wasn't endearing. Human skin seat covers, human skin waste baskets, human skin leggings, a human face lampshade, a belt made from nipples: It's just too bad they didn't have Etsy back then. I mean, this guy was DIYing before it became cool. And check out that jaunty cap. He was the original hipster (killer).
Responsible for the deaths of thousands by mostly cruel methods, I think it's safe to put the serial killer label on Vlad the Impaler. Vlad was said to have roasted children and fed them to their mothers. A hot meal for starving women on a cold Romanian night? This man obviously cared about his people. Instead of Vlad the Impaler he should have been called Vlad the Guy Who Cared Too Much and Didn't Get the Props He Deserved...
Impaler.