"That's some pretty powerful imaginary sperm you must have there."
"Why yes Ross, pressing my third nipple opens the delivery entrance to the magical land of Narnia."
"I'm so glad we're having this rehearsal dinner, you know, I so rarely get to practice my meals before I eat them."
"Oh, that makes me feel so warm in my hollow, tin chest."
"Yes, on a scale from one to ten, ten being the dumbest a person can look, you are definitely nineteen."
"Well, actually, yesterday I was smoking again. Today, I'm, I'm smoking still."
"Yes, hitting her with a frying pan is a good idea. We might want to have a back-up plan though, just in case she isn't a cartoon!"
"Nice camouflage man, for a minute there I almost didn't see you."
"Was that another question?"
"I'm not great at the advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"