Some people operate just fine with just seven hours of sleep a night. But some people need to get at least eight hours. And in this case, perhaps that extra hour is just what they need in order to remember exactly how time works.
As everyone knows, something can only have a brain if it has the ability to talk. When babies are born, they don't have a brain until several months down the line. This is a fact about brains that is believed by absolutely zero scientists.
If you hug a guy and you can smell his colon, you're probably hugging him wrong. Step back, and then re-position yourself so your nose is nowhere near his colon. If that doesn't solve the issue, he probably just has a particularly pungent colon and there's nothing you can do about it.
There are so many problems here that it might be hard to point out all of them. First, there are seven continents, not seven countries. Second, the list includes some countries and some continents. Third, this list only contains six items, not seven.
This post raises a dilemma. Do you let this proud mommy keep her moment, or do you alert her to the error and turn it into an ashamed mommy moment? Unfortunately, sometimes there's no right or wrong answer.
To find the answer to this question, you may have to test it out for yourself. First, if you're in Miami, get inside your car and start driving. Then, as soon as you reach Florida, check your watch. If that entire process took more than ten seconds, you did something wrong.
There's an old expression that goes, "You can't judge a book by its cover." However, there should be another expression that goes, "Okay, sometimes you can judge a book by its cover, if the book is really a person, and the cover is a shirt that says 'I heart crystal meth.'" It's not as catchy, but just as true.
Sure, the number of people in the world is only about 7.6 billion, not trillions. But if you say "billions beyond billions of people," that makes the person seem much less special. Being one in a billion? That's nothing.
If you don't know something, you shouldn't be afraid to ask and find out. Unless the thing you don't know is if girls have sperm. In that case, you should be afraid, and should probably just Google it instead of asking your Facebook friends a very silly question.
This might not be so bad. After all, they must wash all their rectal thermometers before handing them out to people, right? But then again, there are some areas where it's better to not take that chance.
To be fair, the triangular pizza saver really does look like a play button. So in this case, maybe this person should be forgiven. But if they try to press play when they see a triangular pizza saver in real life, then you know that something's wrong.
The teenage years are a carefree time when the world is full of possibilities. When you're still finding yourself, but enjoying the ride. When nobody gets all mad at you just because you don't understand how math works.
Yes, this is indeed a real tweet from former Press Secretary Sean Spicer. And yes, it looks like he accidentally tweeted some sort of password. Which proves that Spicer can be funny even without being imitated by Melissa McCarthy.