Don't worry, you can still dip them in ranch dressing.
Then ice those cuts on your mouth from the sharp beer cans with popsicles.
Coat a stick of butter with breadcrumbs and throw it in the fryer, fatty.
Serve hot. Goes great with breaded butter.
Preferred flavor: Cookie Dough.
All the greek and all the blue with 900% the saturated fat.
Go big or go home... and by big, we mean the emergency room.
But don't try ordering a large pizza. Order 8 individual slices because, remember, you're a real gluttonous piece of shit.
Spoiler Alert: It's just two 7-layer cakes stacked on top of each other.
Cheese... wine... hotdogs. I'll take, "What are 3 things that age well with time, Alex?" Life Hack: Dip the third thing in the first two things.