Look at these sexy hot apples! Ever bite an apple, explodes juice everywhere? That's right: it's meant to do that for human pleasure. Apples are only about 130 calories, but they're also healthy as hell — with lots of fiber (keeps you regular) and vitamin C (keeps you from becoming a pirate with scurvy). Feast!
Eggs are so goddamn good, and they're Goddamn good for you, too! One large hardboiled bad one will run you only 78 goddamn calories, with the yolk. If you don't like flavor, scoop that yolk out and feed it to your kittens. But if you do that, you'll be missing out on some nutritious fats and cholesterols...so watch yourself.
What is a melon? Are they sports balls from another planet? Are they juice-filled, mutated bouncy balls? Science doesn't know. What science does know is that these fruits are very good for you, and very low in calories. A cup of cantaloupe will only slap on 58 calories — so whip out that spoon and start mutilating that salmon-colored flesh.
Cucumbers. Need we say more? No. But we will anyway. Cucumbers are totally killer. They're only 16 calories to a cup, and they're also killing it in the anti-inflammatory and anti-oxidant game, and contain minerals and vitamins that help to stave off certain types of cancer. Killing it.
OK, let's be honest here. How many times have we walked past a head of cauliflower in the produce aisle and not thought, "Damn, that cauliflower is doing things to me." Zero. A cup of cauliflower has only 29 calories, and if it doesn't stink up your place when you cook it, well, you know you got a keeper.
There are people in this world who are under the misapprehension that salads are only pre-dinner dishes, when in reality, you can eat a salad as the main course. Who are these people? Where do they get their information? And why do they insist on spreading malicious lies? Salad is so low in calories — only about 10 per cup of mixed green leafs — and can be dressed up with all kinds of lovely accessories and dressings to make a really healthy appetizer.
We have to say something: Pineapples are one strange-looking fruit. They look like if tropical wallpaper came to life, and then grew on trees. Regardless, pineapples are high in something called bromelain, a mineral that nutritionists believe can aid in digestion — because it breaks down proteins. Pineapple is about 83 calories per 100g, so it's not bad for your waistline either.
Zucchini, the stuff of Scrabble legend. It looks like a cucumber, tastes like a soggy cracker, and is so healthy for you. In fact, in 100 grams of zucchini, there are only about four calories. I mean, something that healthy for you can't possibly taste good — and in fact, it often doesn't. Go for it!
Movie theater popcorn will kill you. Let's not talk about movie theater popcorn. Let's talk about just plain old, unseasoned, unbuttered white popcorn. Three cups of it will only run you 92 calories, and is also very low in fat and sodium (1 gram each). Start adding on that other crap, and start adding on the pounds. Don't say we didn't warn you.
Of all the things you can put in your body that won't kill you, algae happens to be one of them. But only three types of algae — the other kinds might kill you. Chlorella, AFA and Spirulina are the safe ones, and they contain protein, antioxidants and a smattering of minerals and vitamins. So go ahead and do like your ancestors billions of years ago did: Eat some algae.
The Russians have been in love with the beetroot since love was a thing people had with vegetables. They're only 75 calories per 100 grams, and they possess anti-inflammatory, antioxidant and detoxification qualities thanks to their betalin content. They'll also stain your tablecloth like no other.