On many airlines, the peanuts have been replaced with pretzels. That way, people with peanut allergies are not at risk. And on United, they'll twist you up like a pretzel. So whether or not you have an allergy, you're still at risk.
Of course, don't bleed while the no-bleeding sign is on. Just return to your seat, and try to hold that blood in as much as possible. And wait 20 minutes into the flight before you start bleeding on electronics.
Wait, aren't you supposed to return yourself to an upright position first, and THEN help the person next you? No, wait, that's for oxygen masks. We always get oxygen masks and assaulted passengers mixed up.
Hey United, are you taking notes? These are all great suggestions that just might keep customers around. Although the best way to keep them around just might be to not assault them. It's a wacky idea, but it just might work!