Cat sitting is not a task to be taken lightly. Remember people, these are not dogs. They won’t be wagging their tail out of happiness just because you bend down a little to give them a pat on the head.
These are the creatures who would raise an eyebrow if they could at anything remotely silly you try to do. They are the ones who would slap you silly if they could when you can’t get a hold of yourself. They too are the ones who will act bored just to take the pleasure out of anything you’re doing.
Ah, but cats are so much more than professional bitches. Social media has caught another side of these creatures. Let’s call it the "I-just-had-to-run-all-the-way-to-the-top-of-the-stairs-because-I-scared-myself" moments and the like.
It’s safe to say then, that when it comes to looking after someone else’s cats, things can get tricky. Cats are not as keen to show emotion as dogs are. So we can never know if someone else’s cat is bound to purr at our feet or try and bite our Achilles heel. I’m talking about you Mr. Chompers!
The friend realized that taking care of a series of unfamiliar cats could prove to be a bit much for someone. Thankfully, she left Amanda a note with a few guidelines on each of the cats. I’m telling you, my mother wouldn’t be able to give this detailed of a list about her only daughter.
But this friend didn’t just go for any note. No. Amanda was given details of each cat accompanied by a photo of each one. Because this is what you do when you want to be a good friend (and when you are seriously obsessed with your cats.)
Let’s be serious for a minute, shall we? Understanding what a cat is like is important to keep them calm (Exhibit A above doing yoga). Cats need you to be calm and they will need time to feel comfortable around you. Unlike dogs who just start wagging the minute you show them a smile. So desperate.
According to cat experts, cats, like dogs, rely on scent. It’s normal then that they will need time to get used to your smell, especially if they are not used to having you around. Just spray on some mackerel eau de toilette or something.
First on the list, there’s Samson. I’m guessing this friend isn’t one to pick a favorite among the cats although she does describe Samson as “the most handsome cat you’ve ever seen.” Yeh, subjective much? Apparently, Samson “looks like the cat was drawn by a Disney animator.” Wow.
Next on the list is the “all black” Dobby. This guy has no tail and apparently, he’s the black sheep of this group. Literally. His description ends with, “looks like a cat that was drawn by a person who has a vague idea of what cats look like but in reality has never seen one.” I’m guessing Samson takes precedence over Dobby.
Then there’s the loveable Dixie. Before anything else, the friend needs you to know that she’s “calico.” She also “looks like she would speak with a squeaky voice.” Not that there’s anything wrong with that Dixie, take no note of your mother. She’s also “very short” which is fine for a cat I guess and she “will use her nails to love you.”
Finally on the list there’s Wilson. You’d expect a posh and pompous cat with that name, wouldn’t you? This guy is “gray and white.” He’s also “obese” but fret not, he’s “still adorable.” He “looks like Tony Soprano,” the friend writes, adding on a reassuring note, “probably the mob boss,” so you might get killed by the cat mafia while you’re overseeing things.
Listen, even without the list, the cats would’ve been fine. Even without the sitter there, they would have been fine. What isn’t fine is how this friend describes the creatures she loves the most. Let’s hope this Amanda never gets described by her friend.