There are certain unspoken rules everyone needs to follow. You'd think "Don't Purposely Break Your Ex' Junk To Get Revenge" didn't need to be said aloud. But after hearing this story, you'll hope they teach this in every education class on Earth.
The reason he broke up with her is because he felt she was too clingy. He claims that she demanded he report his whereabouts, give her goodnight calls and say "I love you." Sounds like a normal relationship, but Wang says this left him physically exhausted.
Well, not too physically exhausted. The two agreed to have one final romp as a send off to the last two years they spent together. Not too crazy so far. This is something many of us have done when going through a breakup.
This is where things went terribly, terribly wrong. Shortly after, Wang was seen running out of his home sans clothes, covering his privates with a cup, obviously in great pain. Turns out their relationship wasn't the only thing that was broken off that night.
Instead of running to the hospital, Wang headed straight to a nearby police station. Imagine the thoughts running through the head of the cops seeing this quivering, naked man holding his junk as he burst into the building. Something strange went on in that bed.
When he was able to gather himself, Wang relayed the story of the final hookup with his now ex-girlfriend. He wanted to lodge a report about his injured member. He also made sure to clarify that this injury was an intentional act of revenge.
The police wondered if he was maybe paranoid or if the couple were just straight up awful in the sack. Wang insisted they weren't and there was malicious intent. He claimed they had used the "lotus blossom" position multiple times before with no ill effect.
Wang turned into a real dick detective. He argued that it was too much of a coincidence that this sexual position had not gone wrong in the countless times they pulled it off in the past. But coincidentally, now that it was their last time, it ended with grievous trauma to his schlong? What more evidence do you need?
Wang said he'd go to the hospital, but only after filing a report against his ex. After all, revenge is a dish best served cold. Mostly so you can hold that cold dish against your mangled wiener to prevent further swelling.