First dates are for getting to know someone: where they work, where they live, where they are from and what keeps them up at night writhing in fear.
Nothing like going on a first date and having your date keep track of the time because he doesn't want to pay for an extra 20 minutes of parking. These are some hard times.
You came to drink and to get to know him. He came to fight and get to know her.
Oh yea? Well, your hair looks like it's thinning. Look buddy, you've only got a few good years left, so you better cherish it.
"Oh, I didn't tell you that I was married? So weird! I could have sworn I mentioned that on Bumble. Weird, so do you want to order?"
Check please! I hope that while you were running out of there, that you also called child protective services.
You know those nightmares where your teeth fall out and you wake up soaked in your own sweat? Well, this is like that but worse, because it's not a dream.
Hey, Boo, can I see that criminal record? Damn, you bad.
That waiter deserves a huge tip. Sometimes you will do anything to get out of a terrible date.
Want to know what her biggest flaw is? Agreeing to go on a date with you!
This is a perfect way to figure out someone's name after you've passed the "what's your name again" window. Added bonus if the date is boring and you need some caffeine to wake you up!
And you totally forgot that you can't go out tonight because you have to go wash your hair. Get out and get out fast!
It's bad enough that you took her to McDonald's but then you made her pay for her nuggets?!? Girl, don't sweat it. Go to Chick-Fil-A and get some real nuggets.