This is a pretty solid dad joke, but a REAL dad wouldn't stop here. He'd probably also comment, "I'm not sure who this Mark fella is, but he definitely seems pretty able!" Then he'd spend the next 10 minutes chuckling at his own joke while smoking a pipe and watching golf.
And even worse than taking just any day off? Taking off weekends and holidays. Except for Valentine's Day. That could be removed from the calendar, and suddenly the year would become a lot less stressful.
Dad says his anti-gravity book is impossible to put down, but we don't believe him. After all, he said the same thing about his book about the history of glue. And his biography about the only person in the world to have zero imperfections.
Wait, is that the only difference between a piano and a tuna? Seems like there are several more, like one's a musical instrument and one's a fish. Or one is played by Billy Joel at a concert, and the other is on a sandwich eaten by Billy Joel after the concert. Saying there is just one difference is misleading at best.
Dad actually has a point here. Most of the time, we totally take letters for granted. We should never miss an opportunity to tell specific letters how much they mean to us. Except for X, of course. Can't we get rid of that useless letter already?
At this Thanksgiving, you'd better hope you get the bigger half of the wishbone. That way, you can wish to go back in time before you ever heard this joke. On the other hand, if Dad gets the wishbone, he'll wish that the can tell this joke repeatedly, word-for-word, until the end of time.
The turkey is doing more than just chilling. Judging by the remote, it looks like it's actually Netflix and chilling. So when another thawed-out frozen turkey comes over and gets a little frisky, now you know why.
Sex in an elevator may be wrong, but love in an elevator is oh so right. At least that's what Aerosmith tells us, and they have literally never been wrong before. Plus, most or all of the guys in the band are probably dads, so it all adds up.
Just be sure you don't go to a corner where the intersecting walls are very close together. In that case, it might only be 30 or 40 degrees. It's so cold, you might even come down with acute bronchitis.
If the step ladder isn't his real father, does that mean ladders can biologically have children? And if so, how do ladders have sex with each other? This whole situation truly raises more questions than answers.
If you made it to the end of this list, then you must love udderly bad puns. If you hate puns, then you probably have a major beef with us after reading the whole thing. Perhaps you should have moo-ved on to another list a while ago.