Online dating used to be for socially awkward nerds. If you tried to find a partner online, it meant that you had trouble meeting people in real life and had to rely on a computer to help you out. Today, there's no longer a stigma that you're a nerd if you try online dating. There is, however, the sigma that you're only using it to hook up. And that stigma is arguably worse than the stigma of being a socially awkward nerd.
Everyone knows that Tinder is only a hook up app, right? It's a place where you can treat human lives as your personal plaything. There are no Mr. Rights, only Mr. Right-Now-Because-It's-2-a.m.-And-You're-Lonlies.
But there are some people who use Tinder to look for something more substantial than a quick hook up. They're there to swipe left on all the frogs so that they can swipe right one a prince. To them, Tinder isn't for finding a fling. It's for finding a relationship.
Both the people looking for hook ups and the people looking for relationships are swimming around in the same dating pool. So how do you tell the difference between them? There are a few things that your match will do that will give you a pretty good idea if they're looking for more than just a good time.
If you match with someone late at night, there's a good chance that they spent their night idly browsing the app looking for someone to come over right then. But if you match with someone during daylight hours, they're probably looking for love on their lunch break. You can swipe on people at any time, and in this case, timing matters!
When your new match messages you, if the first thing they send you is a crass message that would make a whore blush, it's a safe bet that they don't want a relationship. Don't be alarmed if they lead with a cheesy pick up line. But if they lead with a cheesy pick up line about their genitalia, then what they're looking for is loud and clear!
7. They Try To Talk To You Before They Meet Up With You
If your Tinder match engages you in an actual conversation before you meet up with them, then they're probably looking for a little bit more than company for one night. And no, they don't necessarily try to find out your entire life story. But if they engage in witty banter and ask you questions about yourself, then there's a good chance they're looking for a relationship.
8. You Meet Up With The Other Person Before 10 p.m.
If your date tries to meet up with you at an hour when you should be asleep, then they're probably trying to sleep with you. Nobody tries to meet up with the person they want to eventually introduce to their mother at midnight on a school night! But if your date schedules your meet up at a respectable hour, then they're probably looking to genuinely get to know you.
Does your date invite you out to an actual restaurant and not their living room? Does it look like they put an actual effort into their appearance? Are they polite and make an attempt to get to know you? Then congrats! You are on a real date! The amount of effort a person puts into a date is directly proportional to the rate of how fast they're trying to get into your pants. It's 21st century dating physics!
If your date is looking for a relationship, they're going to try to get to know you to see if you're a good match for them. If they ask you questions about where you went to school, what did you study there, did you like it, what dorm did you live in, they're probably trying to see if your alma mater is compatible with theirs. If someone is trying to only hook up with you, they'll probably only ask you what your favorite college drinking game was.
11. They Don't Immediately Try To Hook Up With You
How does the date end? Is it sealed with a respectable kiss? Or do they immediately try to take you to Pound Town? If they don't immediately try to get into your pants, then that's a very obvious sign that they're not trying to get into your pants. They're all about the slow build!
If your date wants to see more of you, then they're probably looking for a relationship — and more specifically — a relationship with you. It's easy to get burned on Tinder. However, if your date asks for a second date, then you've probably already started a fire in their heart.
You can find love and happiness on Tinder. You just have to know what the other person is looking for. The more up front you are with your potential suitors, the smoother it will be for both parties. So don't be afraid to put your cards on the table!
However, if you do find love on Tinder, you'll have to figure out how to tell people you met on Tinder. Do you let your grandkids know that grandma and grandpa met on a hook up app? That's a whole different story with a whole set of other stigmas...