"I was in a meeting in my client’s boardroom. The boardroom was at ground level and the exterior glass was mirrored on the outside but see through from inside. In the middle of the meeting, some sketchy looking dude comes over and starts picking his teeth in the mirror. Then he looks left, looks right, sees he has privacy, so he whips out his junk and starts inspecting it in the mirror. He then started trying to pop pimples or something. My client just got up, walked over to the glass and gave a little rap on the window in front of him. He put his junk away and moved on."
alter_ego77 is the luckiest person on Earth for witnessing this in person:
"I once saw a girl holding an ice cream cone in one hand and her phone in the other lick the screen of her phone. When we made eye contact and she realized I'd seen it happen, she looked like she was going to die."
"I'm a canoe guide, and being the guide I'm usually in the back of the canoe, steering. On this particular day, because it was training and I was with a bunch of my coworkers, I was in the front.
When I'm in the back, I'll periodically check to see if any plumber's crack is showing by basically feeling my lower back/top of my ass crack with my finger, then readjust my underwear if needed. I'm in the back of the boat, so no one sees that.
However, on this day I did it in the front, giving the guy in the back of the boat a full showing of me fingering my ass crack. He promptly said, "I think that's a back-of-boat maneuver.""
"I used to deliver newspapers. One Sunday I got the papers extremely early and delivered to a Sunday only customer at around 3 AM. When it's this early, I always lift my paper up and smile so customers don't think I'm there to rob them.
As I approached this house, I noticed movement inside. Cue the smile and raised newspaper as I witnessed a shirtless, middle aged man with a large potbelly rubbing his belly. Vigorously. I approach and smile, paper in hand. He notices me and runs out of the room. I'm thinking, "No dude. Don't. Do your thing. I'm just a paperboy. Don't let me dictate how you live your life."
"I came back upstairs after leaving for work because I forgot my phone. My dogs thought I was gone for the day and didn't hear me come back up. Walk into the living room and my youngest dog is laying on his back and my older dog is standing right in front of young dog's butt, sniffing. Not normal dog sniffing butt sniffs. Deep, pronounced sniffing, as if he was trying to determine a wine's country of origin. I laughed and both dogs looked at me in utter fear and embarrassment. You could see the shame in their eyes and one went to the couch and the other went to the bedroom. Neither looked me in the eye when I got home that afternoon."
njvd was accidentally the weird guy at the bus stop:
"I use Duolingo to practice my Spanish while waiting for the bus each morning. When I'm alone, I like to say each question and answer aloud to practice my pronunciation as well. One day as I waited for the bus a group of people gathered behind me without me noticing. I had headphones on and practiced each sentence out loud as I worked through my day's Spanish activities. When the bus finally came and I pulled off my headphones, I realized there were six or seven strangers behind me and all had been awkwardly listening to me speak Spanish to myself for five minutes. I felt so embarrassed."
"When I was a child, maybe seven or eight years old, time spent in the bathroom was an opportunity to read books or just have a moment of quiet contemplation. One time during one of my extended toilet sessions I got the bright idea to use the toilet paper to make a Ninja Turtles-style mask for myself. No sooner had l torn the eye holes and wrapped it around my head, the door opens and my dad walks in. We make awkward eye contact for what felt like minutes, and then without a word being spoken, he slowly backed out and closed the door. I don't know why it was so embarrassing to me, but I still remember the whole scene quite clearly and that was 20+ years ago."
MaximusMike had their cake but shouldn't have eaten it, too:
"Not my story, but my mum's. My sister had requested a cake from a specific shop that we'd never been to before and mum went in to order it. The kitchen was visible from the front of the shop and one of the workers was icing a cake. He licked the spatula and continued icing. Mum saw everything. She still ordered a cake from that shop, and we ate it."
"Oh God, it was me. I wore a new dress at work with a really full skirt. I was in the bathroom all alone and grabbed the sides of my skirt to swish it back and forth and twirled and swished and twirled. Imagine a frumpy middle-aged woman going full-on Disney Princess.
In walked the Deputy Superintendent. Instant mortification. I avoid her like the plague now."
"This happened to me and every time I think of it I cringe so hard it hurts. When I lived at my parents' house, my grandma lived with us. One time, I was watching porn with headphones. Well, there was a big leak of water in the kitchen and my grandma wanted help as soon as possible. She opened my unlocked door while I was at it. She didn't seem to care and started yelling at me to get my attention since I didn't notice her because I had my headphones on. She saw me beating my meat for 30 f**king seconds."
"I once purchased sex toys online including anal beads. I came home to find the parcel containing these items open sitting on my bed with a note from my mum saying, "Sorry, thought it was my parcel." The shame was unbearable and I still cringe when I think about it. I tried to deflect by texting her to ask if she had any wrapping paper I could use for "the joke present I bought for my friend's 21st." Eurghhhh."
postingstuff shows that there are worse places to be caught doing... that:
"A kid in my class used to beat himself off under the school tables in class. This was about year three to four. The desks were arranged in a U shape so half the class could see him wanking himself off. He was a nice kid but had some weird stuff going on."
groovetonic should be thankful she didn't sniff it up after:
"My wife is very lady-like and never tries to do anything rude. I look at her lovingly from across the house, but she doesn't notice. Then she proceeds to sumo wrestler squat and toot the biggest fart I've ever heard this side of the Mississippi."