So you're an American. That's cool. Besides the fact that America is the laughing stock of the world right now thanks to our president, being an American is a pretty neat thing. For one, we're super patriotic (USA! USA! USA!). We also have no shortage of fast food joints, so you're never far away from a burger and fries. And the US is so huge that you're bound to find a state where you feel right at home. So yeah, being an American is awesome. But guess what? The rest of the world thinks we do some pretty weird stuff.
Like cranking the AC All. The. Time. You can live in the hottest city in the United States and still need a sweater whenever you are indoors. Americans crank that AC up so high, you would think that we would freeze to death. We are all about central air all the time, and people from other parts of the world think that we are crazy for it.
Speaking of ice cold, here in the US we love our iced water. We can't have a beverage without a ton of ice in it. When you travel overseas, you will never get ice unless you ask for it. And don't be surprised if people look at you funny when you do ask for it.
Ordering ice in a beverage in Europe is a dead giveaway that you're American. So if you want to blend in, get used to lukewarm drinks.
Why do we have huge gaps in our bathroom stalls? Can you give me one good reason why? Just one? Is it so we have something to look at while we poop? So we can poop on display? I really don't understand it. Why aren't all public toilets in the United States enclosed so we can pee freely!? I'm starting a movement. Are you in this with me?
Why do Americans have to ruin a good thing? Oreos are amazing as is! What is next? Chicken and waffle-flavored Oreos? Pancake-flavored Oreos? Thin ones, fat ones, long one, tall ones. Regular Oreos are delicious, so let's just keep it at that!
Why on Earth do we not add sales tax to our price tags? Wouldn't you want to know how much that shirt for $23.99 is actually going to cost you? And every state has a different percentage that they add and some states don't add any at all! It's way too confusing.
In some states you can make a right on a red light. In other states you can't. You can buy fireworks in some states and they are illegal in the next state over. Why can't we get on the same page!?!? How are we supposed to keep track of what laws happen in what states?!
Our highways in the United States are twice as big as the ones in Europe. However, we have more rules and seem to be a little more organized. Have you ever tried to tried in Italy or Germany? It'll scare the pants off of you!
Why would we be like everyone else? It would make things so much easier, but who cares?! We would rather be different than do what everyone else is doing. "If all of Europe jumped off a bridge, would America do it too?" Nope. And we aren't using the metric system either.
When we go out to eat, our portions are four times bigger than they should be. Our trucks are the biggest, we like drinks the size of fishbowls, we pay for our butts and boobs to get bigger than big. Go big or go home, right?!
We are obsessed with fast food and eating on the go. In Europe, people sit and talk over coffee. In the US we get it to go and walk around with it. People in the UK have beers on their lunch break. We eat lunch at our desks. We use microwaves way more than we should and we don't honor food the way people across the pond do.
In the US, every single bill looks the same. Whether it's a $5, $10, $50 or $100 bill, they are all the same size and color. Other countries use different sizes and colors and coins in order to differentiate the different amounts. Why wouldn't we do the same?
Anything that is this color should not go into our bodies. I'm sorry, but how could anyone think that this could be good for us? We should have a no-neon clause in our menus but unfortunately we don't. Americans are so weird!