New Today in News
Editorial: Did Ted Cruz Just Climb Out of Anyone Else's TV?

If this just happened to you, please comment so I can know if I should be freaking out, or if it's like "whatever".

Wow! These Kids Learned to Read by Reading to This Tire Fire

"Kids need to learn how to read, and someone's got to read to our city's giant tire fire, so we put two and two together."

Garbor, The Long Island Garbage Monster Projected to Win GOP Nomination

Would you vote for a Long Island Garbage Monster over the other GOP candidates?

These Kittens Are Muslim. Do You Still Want to Kick Them Out?

These adorably precious cats happen to practice Islam. Does that complicate your xenophobic beliefs?

Whoa! Undiscovered Banksy Artwork!

Is this even art?

Taco Bell's Exciting New Menu Items

Really, the most authentic Mexican food around.

Surprise Surprise: Harvard Research Study Shows Sarcasm is Good for Your Health

We could have told you that.

Model Employee: British News Reporter Has Off Script Freak Out Live On The Air

Finally some real news.

Opinion: I Bet Bernie Sanders Smells Awful

What garbage do you think Bernie Sanders smells like?

Kissing Couple Asks for Photoshop Help, the Internet Delivers

Be careful what you wish for.

Cute! This Second Grade Class Wrote Letters To Jared Fogle.

What would you write to Jared Fogle?

Airbus Patents Double Decker Plane Seats, Proving They Care

Who wouldn't want to fly like this?

Genius Phones Police Because He's `Too High' Found in Pile of Doritos and Cookies

Racially Sensitive UCLA Students Wear Blackface to "Kanye West" Party

Great idea UCLA students!

Electric Company Employs Mountain Lion

We have so many questions.