For today’s entry-level jobs you need at least two years’ experience, a master’s degree, have gotten first place in a world sailing competition, speak five languages and most importantly, know how to make a cappuccino better than the most prestigious cafes in Italy. The last is crucial because that’s what you’ll be spending most of your time doing.
Well, I’m a millennial and there are plenty of young people I don’t like. Does that mean I am a self-loathing millennial? Well, I actually know of a lot of millennials that grapple with self-loathing on a daily basis.
You know those baby boomers just want our kidneys because they f***ed theirs up in the ‘60s. Well, the millennials aren’t much better. With the amount of rosé we’re consuming, our own kidneys will be shot by the time we’re in our 50s.
Millennials do love to brunch, but that isn’t going to be our downfall. While baby boomers are crying about millennials killing the napkin our potpourri industries, we’re here freaking out about the environment and housing market baby boomers destroyed.
Well, “The Itsy-Bitsy Spider” was my jam back in the day. But, when you think about it, it is essentially “Don’t Stop Believin'.” No matter how many times the itsy-bitsy spider got washed out of that water spout, he picked himself up by the bootstraps and tried again. He didn’t stop believing.
That always bothered me at the end of Titanic. Although, technically Rose was too old to be a baby boomer. Though, she should have thought of her millennial great-grandchildren. That necklace could have really helped them out.