Sick Burn! It looks like the Grinch started wearing his tight socks again!
That's what made him cranky, right, too-tight socks? I haven't watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas in years. Cause I'm an adult.
Hahahahaha, the Royal Mail is on fire! It's pretty bad when even they know you have no valentine!
Chilly P is gonna die alone....just like the rest of us.
"And that, kids, is how I met your mother."
"Uhhh... dad, that's a horrible story. Why did you tell us that."
"Because your mother and I are getting divorced."
After this comeback, Ana drowned her embarrassment in butter beer.
Meanwhile, JK proceeded to fly on her Nimbus 2000 to Hogwarts, where she hung out with Harry, Ron, Hermione, and the rest.
BECAUSE THEY ALL EXIST, DAMMIT! THEY HAVE TO.
I need them.
Actual, Staten Island Ferry does have a gold and silver medal.
In the Olympic sport of MOUTH-FOOTING.
That's the sport where you put your foot in your mouth.
Dear Clout Busters,
Did you know that there is a wonderful device called spell check? It will change your life, bro.
P.S. And to answer your question...YES.
It's a horrible idea to mock Louis CK. He's one of the world's best comedians. I'm surprised Eddie Strike's father never taught him that.
You shouldn't go up against comedians, because they are smart. You REALLY shouldn't go up against theoretical physicists. Cause they are really, really smart...you dummy.
DAAAAYYYYYMN. You just got the mic dropped on you by TOM. As in MYSPACE TOM. As in, the only person left on Myspace.
Polo Tapia should probably just stick to ICQ.
Winston Churchill. Fearless leader. Shrewd politician. Burner of Nancy.
Seriously Nance, maybe don't try to match wits with the dude who beat Hitler. Cause, you know, HE BEAT HITLER.
James Blunt's twitter comebacks are as legendary as his songs are maudlin.
I'm just kidding, James. I still get the feels when I hear "You're Beautiful."
Please don't destroy me online.*
[*Managing Editor's note: Yes...please do.]
Mrs. Johanson is a treasure. If I were in Mrs. Johanson's class, I would have asked her to prom.
She would have been way better than my real prom date. I STILL HAVEN'T FORGIVEN YOU FOR MAKING OUT WITH TRENT, ANDREA!
Haha, your mom thinks you're a joke!
My mother thinks I am a very good boy and a special unique gift from god. She tells me every day.
Cause I still live at home.
Too far, Mighty Boosh. You can make fun of me. You can make fun of my country. You can make fun of Chelsea Handler.
BUT IF YOU DARE BESMIRCH THE PROUD AMERICAN PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM, WE WILL SEND YOU BACK ACROSS THE ATLANTIC QUICKER THAN YOU CAN SAY "CHEERY HO."
Remember at the end of 8 Mile, when B-Rabbit destroys Clarence so hard that Clarence just walks away?
This is kind of like that. Except in this situation, Clarence was British occupation.