When it is really hot outside, men have to shake their legs all crazy-like and with force in order to unstick their balls from their thigh. Sexy, right? So if you see a dude shaking and dancing around all weird from the waist down on a hot day, you know what is really going on down there.
Most men have peed in a bottle. Sometimes it is out of laziness and they do it because they don’t want to get out of bed to use the bathroom. Other times they may be stuck in traffic or they don’t want to stop driving while on a road trip. I’m not judging this because If I were a dude, I’m sure I would do this too. Total perk if you ask me.
Most men will admit that while sometimes they just pee to pee, other times they make peeing an event. They will stand back further than usual to test their distance skills. Other times they will make shapes and write things with their pee. They also like to pee and stop. Then pee and stop and see how fast they can go back and forth. What a fun game! It’s like “Red Light, Green Light." Who knew that men could find so many different ways to pee?
Men have many skills, but did you know that they can make their balls dance? Did you also know that sometimes they practice making them dance when they are alone? A man alone in bed, just watching his balls dance. It’s sad to imagine it when you really think about it.
Instead of washing their dirty underwear, some men have admitted to turning them inside out instead. How hard is it to just buy more underwear so you don’t have to resort to being a filthy human being? You can buy nine pairs of underwear at Target for less than $15. Get on it!
Men have openly admitted that they often use the “sniff test” to determine if clothes are dirty or not. So if that used pair of socks that you wore for 10 hours smells okay after you pick them up off your floor, you will just wear them again!? Men, you need to get it together.
The "Sniff Test" also works for whether or not they need to take a shower. Men will smell their armpits to see how ripe they are. They will also put their hands in their pants to smell their balls to see if it’s time to rinse off.
If men are shaving home alone, they are not about to clean the sink after all the whiskers fall in. Their logic is that over time, they will go down the drain on their own. Don’t believe me? Live with a dude for a week and see for yourself.
You already know that men often have a “hard” time keeping it in their pants. So, when they get somewhere early and are bored in their car, don’t think that masturbating isn’t an option. Stuck in traffic? Give it a little rub and tug. At work on a lunch break? Why not! Men will find a way to rub one out no matter where they are, if they feel the time is right. And let’s face it. The time is ALWAYS right.
10. They’ve Been Wearing Those Workout Clothes For Weeks
You better wipe that seat if you are using equipment at the gym after a guy because I guarantee that they have been wearing that outfit for a week straight. They go to the gym and workout and sweat in those shorts and then wear them over and over again. Sweaty boys will always be sweaty boys and yet we still have sex with them.
Men are fartmeliers, which is a new term I made up for being the "sommelier’s of farts." They like to smell their flatulence and then pick up on the scent and determine what it is that they smell. “Ah yes, what I smell in this fart is the bacon and eggs with a slight hint of beans from the huevos rancheros that I ate for brunch!”
Listen closely next time your husband or brother is showering and you may hear them blowing their nose in the shower. Well, it’s efficient, I’ll give them that! Maybe I’ll just start to wear flip flops in the shower.
Many men have admitted to eating while sitting on the toilet. It is the circle of life I guess. What goes in, must come out so maybe this is a way to expedite the process. It seems all wrong if you ask me.
I myself have received an unwarranted poop picture so I know that this is 100 percent true. Thanks ex-boyfriend, I’ll never forget you. Send me an invite when you finally open your gallery called The S**t Show.
When no one is watching, guys will pee in the sink if it is more convenient than the toilet. I have a few questions. WHEN is it more convenient? Also, how often does this happen? Do you do this at home? And, can you please keep in mind that that is where we brush our teeth and wash our face next time you are tempted to “go” there. Please save this behavior for public restrooms if you can. Or not at all and just use a damn toilet like a normal human being. Thank you.