It's Saturday at 11am. Prime brunch time. And your drama queen friend won't stop crying because her boyfriend broke up with her even though you totally saw it coming. And if you don't leave soon, your favorite waffle spot will be crowded and you won't get seated until after 12:30pm which is practically LUNCH and your whole weekend will be ruined. But not to worry, here are some sure fire ways to get your BFF to suck it up so you can have a nice late morning meal.
2. Talk About the Instagram Potential of the Restaurant
You KNOW your BFF can't resist a good instagram photo. Show her how cute this café's décor is, and remind her how good the color scheme goes with her skin tone. Throw in words like "selfie potential" and make sure to emphasize how these pictures could make her ex jealous. If that fails, remind her of how she only got five likes on her last instagram picture and how embarrassing that is.
It's time to kick up the honesty. Tell Ms. Drama just how dumb she's being and how she's ruining your day. You work HARD during the week (part-time) and you DESERVE this. Tell her how unfair she's being. Show some tough love.
4. Trick Her into Thinking Her ex Will be at Brunch to Apologize
She's obviously still in love with her ex, so convince her that he'll be at the café having brunch too. Sure you might break her heart when he doesn't show, but she'll have to forgive you as soon as she tries their red velvet waffles. I mean, they're practically magic.
5. Compliment Her New Crop Top is, and Say She Should Wear it Out
Remember that crop top she bought to wear to her ex's sister's engagement party? Remind her how cute it is, and how many compliments she would get were she to wear it out, say right now? Fun tip! If she refuses, you can ask to borrow it since, let's be real it looks better on you and she won't be wearing it anytime soon anyway.
6. Kill Her and Bring Her Lifeless Corpse to Brunch With You
You've TRIED to be a good friend, but your BFF is just refusing to cooperate. So to avoid going to brunch alone (embarrassing) try murdering your best friend, and bringing her lifeless corpse to brunch with you! Everyone will notice how much your skin glows in comparison to her, and to be honest, you've never enjoyed talking to her anyway.