It's always nice when the press list their credentials. Let's you know that they're qualified. And potentially how they got the job.
Take that, nerds! If kids are staying after school to do even more math, you know they're up to no good. This'll teach them to not go out and drink and smoke like the good kids.
It's nice to see ads being brutally honest about their product. But hey, for four bucks, what did you expect? Something that wouldn't treat your intestines like a water slide?
Did they run into Norah?
Fun trick: Read this line with a drum beat in your head. Sounds like a lyric from the best club jam of the season.
I mean, I think marriage is simply between two people who love each other. But if you think it should only be between men, that's fine, too. Seems a little out of character for ya, though, Danny Boy.
The poor editor must have had such a hard time with this. Did they mean to say, "Dear Dad?" Because technically, this version works just as well.
Hey, how would you celebrate a big win? Who are you to judge? Dan Patrick wouldn't appreciate how you view the way he gets down after touchdowns.
I mean... wow, I never actually thought of that. I guess "Yes." Yes, I do. From this day forward, I'll make the most of everything. Thank you for this revelation, Firefox.
This may seem like just a funny sign, but it makes a good point. If you steal merchandise, you have to pay it back somehow. Guess this store is just super specific with how they want you to make it up to them.
No. No thank you. That said, how did Owen get this job? Where can one submit credentials to become a professional cookie warmer?
Asking for a friend.
Yeah, I get it. It could be a hundred years, I'd never forget a lady with a genital face. Miss you every day, you fleshy Gonzo gal.
I mean, that's one way of trying to put out the blaze. I'm surprised they're able to go that far, especially in public in front of a fire. I usually lose concentration when the phone rings.
Again, I'm amazed someone can do this in public. Especially after a marathon! I need to eat some more oysters or something.
Thank you, Snapchat, for blessing us with so many fails. Rest in peace to this poor sap's notifications. Hope their parents aren't on Snapchat. That'd make for an awkward Mother's Day.
This is simply ludicrous. Did no one bother to read this at all before putting it on the air?
It should read: "Rap Allegations."