We all love Disney. And if you don't love Disney, you can't sit with us. (But really, who doesn't love Disney?) Even though Disney seems pretty near perfect, it isn't immune to a bit of criticism and trolling on the internet, because none of us are. The internet is a cruel, bitter place, and nothing is safe, not even your favorite Disney movies. So while you can find plenty of beautiful, glowing posts about all things Disney online, you can also find some pretty good roasts. So if you are willing to see some of your favorite Disney flicks get the brutal trolling treatment the internet so happily doles out, keep reading.
Because we've got a lot more posts like this one. And in all honesty, this is a pretty valid point. Disney has more money than God. They hire the best of the best writers and all they can come up with is "fool"? I guess "dum dum" or "stupid head" just doesn't sound as scary.
Hey Ariel, we know you are a redhead and everything, and that makes you "different" from all the other mermaids, but come on! Every other mermaid matches, except for you. Girl, look around you. Either go blue on blue or green on green. Quick! Someone call in a mermaid stylist because this girl needs help! (In all fairness, mer-girlfriend in the yellow tail also has a mismatching top, so we don't really know what the fashion rules are under the sea.)
It went right over our heads when we were little, but there it is, right there. Now that we're adults and understand how the world works, we see the truth nugget that Disney slipped into Pocahontas. Go ahead and look up the real story of Pocahontas. There wasn't much around the river bend for her besides pneumonia, smallpox, and/or tuberculosis.
Let's not stop there with the dead Disney women. Nemo's mom is dead. Bambi's mom bit the big one. Cinderella, Belle, Snow White, The Little Mermaid, the motherless character list goes on and on and on. DISNEY, WHY ARE YOU KILLING OFF ALL THE WOMEN????
Why does the mermaid have to be little? Are you saying she is weak? Are you taking away her power? She is average-sized. How about, "The Medium-Sized Mermaid" or just "The Mermaid"? Or how about "The Grown-Ass-Adult Mermaid"? Any of those titles would have been more accurate.
Well, not necessarily. How you ever waxed your own pubes? It's affordable and not that difficult to do. It's a little more painful, but if you can't get a waxer up into that tower, it's the next best thing. I highly recommend it.
Right on! I tried to make friends with the squirrel outside my window and he bit me and ate all my nuts. Now my almonds are gone and I feel like I may have gotten rabies and I am going to die. Disney lies! All lies!
These Disney girls must have some serious daddy issues because they fall in love way too fast. Whatever happened to getting to know someone? Dating for a while and waiting to move in? Don't they know that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce?
Yeah, she wasn't so bad. A real villain would take her voice and then give her some busted legs. If she were a jealous sea witch, she would make her body all disproportionate. Human Ariel is super hot.
Yeah, I guess Disney doesn't really dive into the mental health issues of their leading ladies. But you know that Rapunzel had to have battled with some real demons in that tower. Belle with her Stockholm syndrome and Cinderella endured some major childhood trauma. It's all really sad and that is just scratching the surface.
I want a man who will frolic with me like John Smith did with Pocahontas. If you put the whole "his people murdering my people" aside, he is really giving us some sass. Sometimes you have to weigh the pros and cons and just go for it!