"Everything seemed to be going so well. You must have done something wrong. It's obvious that he hates you because he hasn't texted me back in 2.25 hours!!! Why!? I don't deserve this! I'm a good person."
"Okay now it's been over three hours, so I'm sure he is seeing someone else. No, that's cool! I'm just going to be right here obsessing over the fact that I have not heard from you while you are having fun in the sack with another girl! Sounds fair to me!"
"But he seemed so into me. Maybe he got mugged and they stole his phone. Yea, that must be it. He didn't get my text because he was mugged by a bunch of robbers and they aren't going to text me back for him. They don't even know me!"
"Oh no. If he got mugged, then maybe they killed him. What if he is dead? What if he didn't get mugged but he died in some sort of choking accident? And here I am only thinking about myself while Kylie is laying on his kitchen floor with a piece of chicken lodged in his throat. Maybe I should go over there and see if he is okay?"
"Or he's working. I think he mentioned that work was going to be insane this week. Or did I make that up? Shit, that reminds me that I'm supposed to be at work in 30 minutes. I need to stop obsessing over this and get ready. But maybe I should take off just in case Kyle did die in that choking accident?"
"No, Kyle is fine. He just thinks I'm desperate. On our last date, I made too much eye contact and it must have freaked him out. Dear god, I'll look at him less next time if you just give me another chance!"
"Okay it's been almost five hours and I think I figured it out. I bet he has Sprint and he doesn't have any service where he is. Ugh, Sprint is the worst! I need to make sure he switches to Verizon so we can communicate better. I'll talk to him about it IF HE EVER ANSWERS ME BACK!!!!"
"Well, if he is going to play games, then I am going to play them right back. I'll have an EX post on my Facebook page. That'll make him jealous. Or when he finally texts me back I'll wait seven hours until I text him back. That'll teach him."
"I bet he went snooping on my Facebook page and found an ex and stalked them and then made some shitty judgements about me and now he isn't interested anymore. See, this is why you shouldn't snoop. You shouldn't make assumptions over things you see on social media!"
"I should snoop. If I look at his Instagram I can see if he is sleeping with someone else or if he's dead. The the problem will be solved and then I can move on with my day. Oh wait, I just said that snooping is bad."