Let's be real. How often do you actually "lol" when you send someone "lol?" We'd like to wager that it's roughly 0.001% of the time that you use it. And when you "haha" someone? You probably just added it to the end of your text to make it seem like you weren't mad. Everyone knows that's what you do.
We challenge you to make it through this post without at least giving an approving nod.
And if avocados don't amuse you, we don't know what will. These tricky little buggers not only are our favorite fruit, but they also make it fun to try to play the game of guessing the exact second they're ripe before the opportunity has passed.
Can we get a Lord of the Rings musical? That would be great, thanks. We'd love to think that Gandalf would break out in inspirational song every now and then. Apparently, Boromir wouldn't like it. He only likes slow ballads.
Sorry, SIRI, for all those times you've had to recalculate on our behalf. In our defense, it's not that simple to tell how far 100 feet is. We rely on you to tell us these things. We can't really think for ourselves now that we know you can give us directions.
Did someone say this is a cat? We think it's probably more like a cross between a lion and god. This cat doesn't have owners. It owns other people. We'd also like to ask for the name of its hairstylist, because they do some amazing work.
This level of pettiness is actually understandable. These people are along the same lines as the people who honk at you right when the green light changes. Stop living your lives with that much stress, people. We know you don't really have anywhere that important to be.
We always knew that potatoes weren't real. That's what we'd try to tell mom when she wanted us to eat our vegetables, but she'd never believe us. French fries are a different story, though. Obviously those are an important part of a major food group.
You know that question, if you could choose to have dinner with anyone, living or dead, who would it be? You've thought about it and stressed about it and carefully curated your answer. But this guy has just broken the question.
We always knew that Leslie Knope had to have a crazy backstory to make her the person we see today. Go into the Upside Down, save all your friends, then become director of the Parks and Recreation Department. It's the only logical order that things can progress.