This is the ultimate way to blow someone off. Wait until you know when the world is going to end. Schedule your appointment or date until after the end of life as we know it. You'll never have to do what you didn't want to do, plus you don't come off as rude! It's the perfect plan! Nothing could go wrong!
"I'm not a full grown adult who sleeps on a futon in a living room and has ten roommates. I'm someone who is co-living in a co-living space. I'm not sad. I'm part of a lifestyle trend. Here's the article to prove it. Who's laughing now?"
Unfortunately, this is all the talent that Kim Kardashian had. If only you could find fame and fortune from smelling someone's cavities. This poor woman will die being unappreciated for the one thing she's actually good at. It's sad.
"I just really wanted to capture the scrumptiousness of God's bottom. No doubt, God has the perfect derrière. He is God. He is perfect. So are his buttocks. It deserves to be immortalized through art."
"Uh... Michelanglo, are you trying to tell us something?"
"What gives you that idea? Anyways, God's butt..."
This is literally the best wrong number text in the history of phone service. If only Alexander Graham Bell could know that one day his invention would be used for this piece of magic. He would weep and then die from happiness.
It seems like a joke, but he's actually being literal. As soon as he gets into bed, he changed all of the fonts on his computer to Wingdings. Nobody can understand him, but honestly, he does get all the ladies!