You're so vain, you probably think this Facebook status is about you. Oh wait it is...because you wrote it. Wow, you really are so vain. You know what you need to learn? How to think before you post something stupid!
We are so proud of you too and congratulations on your grown-up decision. But we just have one question for you. Do you actually know what a vegan is? Because chicken and steak is a no no if you are going meat free. Does that make sense? Let us know if you have any questions.
She meant Club Bed. At Club Bed you lay in your pajamas and eat ice cream with pimple cream on your face. It is not clear as to why there is a line of other girls outside trying to get into her Club Bed though. Don't they have their own Club Bed to lounge in?
Unless you are the last car in the line of traffic and for some reason no one is behind you for miles, you are a big liar. You shouldn't lie about traffic. Why would anyone want the traffic gods against them?
She says that she isn't wearing makeup, but I definitely see eyeliner and mascara. Oh wait, she admitted that she is wearing eyeliner. And her lips definitely have lipstick on them. Go back, wash your face and then post a picture if you are going to claim that you aren't wearing any makeup! WE CAN SEE YOU.
It looks like one of your friends is keeping tabs on Jared Leto and caught you red-handed. But if the person you ran into was hot enough to look like Jared Leto, go find him and marry him! Or at least give him my number.
Are you sure that you didn't use your mad "looking for an app that turns a picture into a sketch" skillz? Special bonus points if your profile picture is the original photo that this "sketch" was inspired by. Total fail, girl. We are onto you.
This is the ultimate fail. First of all, you should never make the excuse that "someone died." You are bringing on some really bad karma. And if you are going to lie, cover your tracks! Come on people! Think before you post. Your life, job and relationships depend on it.