"Lol! I knew that! 'I've Liked You for a While Now' is also the name of a movie! That's the one I'm watching right now. It's really good. What? Did you think I actually liked you too? Ha! That's so funny! Isn't that funny? Sooo...do you like me?"
Sometimes you feel like everyone else in the world except for America is weird. But then you see the evidence. Seriously, what's wrong with everyone else? Why don't they use Fahrenheit like normal people? USA! USA!
"Hey, when it says, 'this way up,' which way am I supposed to hold it? Does that go on the bottom, or... Seriously, I need help with this! Why don't they make it clear? This isn't my fault at all. I'm smart!"
You are allowed to make mistakes. But just know, if you do make a mistake, other people are going to make fun of it on the internet. That's just the circle of life. So, basically what we're saying is...don't ever go out in public.
"Ha ha! Wouldn't it be hilarious if I was really in love with you? I'm not in love with you! It's completely just a joke! But wouldn't it be funny if it was real? It's not. I'm just doing a bit. I love comedy. Don't you love comedy? You know what I also love? Uh...never mind."
So that's why the line in the women's room is so long! It's full of people who are all waiting to take selfies in front of the one mirror. Nobody actually uses the bathroom to, like, pee. Cause that would be weird.
You can point fingers all you want. But at the end of the day, you have to look at who's pointing the finger. And you should probably keep your hands on the wheel instead of pointing them all over the place, too.
"But seriously, does anyone have the answer? And how much time does it take to have triplets? For real, I don't want to be pregnant for 27 months, so someone better let me know! I don't understand math!"