If you're going to do it at all, really go for it! Own your sense of wonder at boobs! Make your gaze the most obvious thing in the world! When she slaps you in the face, it'll have been worth it!
For Elvis' sake, we hope that this is an impersonator. How sad would it be if Elvis was secretly alive and this was the real deal? We'd have to check into Heartbreak Hotel.
We get the joke. We don''t want to, but we get it. Someone's going to clean that pan when he's done, right?
Really, Cody? Really? Would it kill you to do a good job for once?
Um, technically that is a bowler hat and therefore this joke is not funny. Sorry that you got busted by the joke police. They're issuing you a joke citation.
If you're trying to be a badass, sorry. You can't get more badass than this kid. This kid wins all of the badass points in all of history.
What? Like you don't fantasize about doing this literally every single Thanksgiving? This guy had the balls to actually do it. Bow down.
Does the carpet match the drapes? Actually, never mind. We don't want to know.
Been there. Done that. Bought the T-shirt. Exploited gender politics for personal gain.
She said no. But it wasn't because she doesn't like him. She just strongly feels that, because memes are an internet-based form, they shouldn't be printed out on paper. So she rejected him out of principal rather than personality.
If you don't know who this person at your school was, that means it was you. Sorry. Hard way to find out, huh?
You don't need alcohol to make yourself so sick you throw up, either. Bad choices can be made under the influence. But they can also be made over the influence too.
Excuse me. Sorry. We weren't staring or anything, but we noticed your bag of Skittles is spilling. We can't not not notice it.
"Oh cool! My shampoo bottle has a picture of really smooth legs on it! What a fun way for them to switch up the design on this thing that's totally a bottle of shampoo."
They're so cute when they're asleep. What could she be dreaming about? Shrapnel in her face and hair?