"And also, could someone summarize the articles on Gen Y laziness in an easy-to-read, 10-page essay with footnotes and bibliography? And then pretend to be me and deliver it to my professor? That would be super helpful, thanks!"
Commas are your friend. Proper comma use here lets people know you're disappointed in your father. But leaving out the comma makes people think you have a child who won't acknowledge that you're their parent.
Not knowing when the Beatles are from is one thing, but what kind of person thinks the Beatles are a guilty pleasure? "I'm not afraid to say it, but I love the Beatles! Also, I think Citizen Kane is a great movie, and chocolate is delicious! Don't judge me!"
You could try to reason that being able to talk isn't proof of a brain, and that dogs following the command of a human is evidence that dogs DO have brains. But after explaining all that, this person probably won't understand. So whether or not this person has a brain remains to be seen.
Let's put aside the fact that this person doesn't know what a verb is. We all get confused about certain things sometimes. But why did this person feel the need to explain that "curly" was referring to the person's hair?
True love would be if you hate pickles, but your boyfriend loves pickles, proving that you complete each other. But the situation mentioned in the post isn't true love. It's just two people who should be saying "hold the pickle" but don't want to make that much of a fuss.
Chuck Norris fact: Chuck Norris is, in fact, a real person. Other Chuck Norris fact: Chuck Norris isn't a Photoshopped Tim Allen. BUT, Chuck Norris thinks that Tim Allen is a Photoshopped version of YOU.
If you go to a hair stylist to make your hair look cute, you could possibly say that you got your hair "cuted." The real confusing part is that she had to get her hair cuted by walking past all that camping gear.