The job of a wife is a tough one. You spend a lot of time cooking, cleaning and doing laundry. Sometimes a woman just wants to relax and sleep in a little. So, when he asked for pancakes for breakfast, he got a pancake. One teeny tiny itty bitty pancake. There! There is your damn pancake.
The holes in his jeans kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger. Well, this is what happens when your wife is sick of you looking like a slob. There is not much more that you can do with those old jeans now, so it's time to throw them away.
She does your laundry when you are too lazy to do it yourself. So, if you want her to keep doing it, you are going to have to learn to decode your socks. Or, you can start doing your laundry yourself. You will learn how to decode your socks? That's what I thought.
She knew that he was going to have to use the toilet paper at some point in the middle of the night. Everybody poops! She planted this paper and waited and waited and waited until she heard him scream. Mission accomplished. Nightmares for you. Sweet dreams for her.
This translates to "old prick" in Dutch. What a nice thing to put on a cake. So, is he an old prick? Or is he just old and the prick is the prick? Either way this wife's prank takes the cake! Oh, you know what I mean.
Imagine walking into the bathroom in the middle of the night. You see a dark shadow looming over the toilet. Is it a ghost? Nope. It's a Stormtrooper. Let's just hope Darth isn't behind the shower curtain.
Sharing is caring. Your wife wanted a taste and she deserves it, dammit! Maybe if you brought her home some treats every once and a while... no don't. If she is like every woman I know, she is trying to eat less sweets. Well, here she definitely did just that...technically.
He wanted to have sexy time, so this wife decided to spice things up a little. Her husband is a huge Nicholas Cage fan so she thought this was the perfect way to turn him on. He did not agree. It turns out that Nick Cage is awesome in movies but not in the bedroom.
If you have a problem with this, why don't you stop by the store on your way home from work and buy some new lunch bags. Problem solved. JUST HELP YOUR WIFE OUT AND BUY NEW BAGS OR YOU WILL BE EATING OUT OF A VICTORIA'S SECRET BAG FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. Thanks, honey.
This is one sassy wife. Look, eating lunch at work can be dull. But not with this wife. You know that she probably does this more for his coworkers than for him. I bet they all take bets on what she is going to write next. Anything to make the day go by faster.
This wife signs her husband up for things like, "Butt Sex Daily." Does she do it to be a jerk, or does she think he will like it? I'm sure she is doing it to be funny, but if he did a little research on the subject, I would be surprised.
Is he living under a rock? And how could she marry someone who doesn't know this song? A 4th grader right now in 2017 would know this song. My grandmother knows this song. How could he not know this song?