It seems like you shouldn't have to tell people to use common sense. But then again, Donald Trump is president. So maybe you need to make the warning bigger, if anything?
There's not much that can make a grown man cry. Except Monday morning. That's enough to make even the strongest of the strong break down in tears.
The first rule of school is that you have to color code everything. Even if you're just doodling. You have to keep things organized! That's how you get into a good college!
If you want to go the extra mile in scaring your boo, actually be pregnant. They'll think you were just kidding, then bam! They'll be terrified for nine months!
It's worth a shot? Imagine how much time you'll save. Then imagine how much more time you'll waste by picking up all the pieces after the plan fails.
Someone made lunch for work, but grabbed the wrong Tupperware in the morning. Or maybe this is their subconscious's way of telling them they need to eat more raw meat.
It's nice to buy something and know exactly what you're getting. It's not great. It's not bad. It just exists. Honesty is the best policy!
Kids, don't try this at home. Not because it's dangerous. Because you'll look like a total asshole.
Boys and girls are different. Girls don't understand football. And boys will take any opportunity to rub that in a girl's face.
"I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore. Oh, we're still in Kansas? Does Kansas just go on forever or something??"
The difference between Optimus Prime and Lightening McQueen is branding. You do not want to get those brands confused. Michael Bay will explode you!
"What do you mean you can't find anything on my desktop? There's a system! This should be pretty easy to understand!"
"I could never find my name growing up."
"Your name is Joe."
"Yeah, they were always sold out!"
Don't ever order the Lumberjack Special. Unless you want to shit logs. Then go for it!
"I work in... the medical building... I also have a girlfriend... in Canada. I'm a doctor. You can trust me!"