Fact: Homer Simpson's age has gone up and down over the years, ranging from 36-39. This is the case even though the characters on The Simpsons are supposed to have always stayed the same age for as long as you can remember. It's similar to how the aging process works with Tommy Lee Jones.
This is the moving company you call if you've tried other companies, but you still haven't found what you're looking for. You can choose to help them with your stuff if you want, but they'll move it with or without you. However, no matter where you live, they'll only move your stuff to where the streets have no name.
The Simpsons, of course, airs on the Fox network, which also owns Fox News. We're not sure if both companies work in the same building. But if they do, this joke would have made for a few awkward elevator rides.
This product seems unnecessarily complicated. And you'd think that any product designed to kill is probably illegal, and shouldn't be approved for advertising. You should maybe check some Yelp reviews before deciding to buy this product.
The only proper way to brush? Use a professional electric toothbrush and then have your teeth poked with a sharp metal object until your gums bleed. That's the only way to avoid getting scolded by the dentist.
The first question is, how often does he have to fulfill this guarantee? But perhaps the more important question is, where did he get that bone? Maybe the second question provides the answer to the first question.
If you're tired of paying big bucks for gas, just try this trick. Keep pumping gas until it reaches all zeroes, even if it means throwing it on the floor or into the car itself. Then they'll probably kick you out of the gas station for reckless behavior, but at least you won't be paying for gas.
This seems like an odd slogan for the Springfield Retirement Castle. It's probably more likely to scare residents away, instead of enticing them to move in. We're not sure what ad agency came up with this campaign, but they should probably be fired.
If you're in a situation where you have to swim for land in the middle of the San Francisco Bay, then you're probably not having the best of luck. Which means you probably can't afford to go to San Francisco. And perhaps more importantly, you'd be too tired from the swimming to spend the day walking up all those hills.