This especially holds true if you’re in a group chat with a bunch of indecisive females, like all of my group chats are. “I don’t care about your Yoga class on Wednesday Brenda, I want to see the new Fifty Shades Darker and see if I can lure a man back to my dungeon!”
There are group chats that I’ve been part of that I comment one single snide remark a month. Mostly, I just look at it like the comments section of an article about what the expanding definition of “curvy” means.
Oh, I see. When Brenda says something everyone replies, but when I do, all I get are crickets. I see how it is. Just cause Brenda has that house on the Cape doesn’t mean you’ve got to shove your noses up her a** every time she says she’s had a rough day at work.
I’m so absent in the group texts that when finally someone says something of interest I find myself scrolling back four months, three breakups, five breakdowns and twelve “I’m too hungover for brunch” statements to figure out what in the hell we’re actually talking about.
But then you miss you’re opportunity and then make yourself look like a turd by trying to tell the joke later when it’s completely irrelevant. Nobody laughs. You contemplate how you’ve gotten to this point in life. You fall asleep crying.
Then you have the audacity to ask me why I’m acting passive-aggressive? Digital disses transfer to real life! Is ignoring my commentary on last week’s episode of The Bachelor worth fighting over? A simple “lol” would have sufficed.