No person in his or her right mind would simply buy and drive a Chrysler. That's why I'm convinced there must be some greater purpose for these vehicles to be on the road. The history of mediocrity, the terrible gas mileage, and the recent merger with Fiat isn't distracting anyone from the use of the 5-point star in their logo. It doesn't take long to put two and two together and see that everyone, and I mean everyone, driving a Chrysler must be a member of the Illuminati.
Who even uses cash these days? The Illuminati, that's who! The Illuminati didn't become the most powerful international organization in the world without having some serious funds at their disposal. It's basically a fact that the Illuminati controls the banks and the treasuries in the U.S. and worldwide, so if you see anyone paying cash for anything, no matter the amount, be aware that they are almost certainly Illuminati.
Yeah, right. Anyone who says they aren't Illuminati is probably just a member of the Illuminati trying to trick you into thinking that they aren't Illuminati. But you just saw them pay cash for the gas for their Chrysler!
6. They Admit That They Are Actually a Member of the Illuminati
Any member of the Illuminati can say they aren't, but much like an undercover cop or someone with herpes, if you ask them, they have to tell you. So just start asking everyone you encounter. I've been doing this since 2003, and although I haven't found any actual Illuminati members, at least I've been able to check hundreds if not thousands of people off my list.
What's that thing just to the left of "America Online"? It sure looks an awful lot like a pyramid with an all-seeing eye, if you ask me. I don't personally know anyone with an AOL account, but the dark alleyways of the Internet provided by the all-but-defunct dial-up superpower known as AOL sounds like the perfect place to conduct the secret business of the most clandestine community in the world.
If you've ever walked into a room full of people, and they all became very quiet or stopped talking altogether as soon as you entered, you can be sure that every single one of those people were Illuminati, and you stumbled into the middle of a meeting you weren't supposed to see. Consider yourself very lucky to be alive.
9. They've Appeared on the MTV Video Music Awards Show
With alleged members such as Jay Z, Beyonce, Miley Cyrus, Snoop, Kanye West, Lady Gaga and Celine Dion, I think it's safe to assume that literally everyone appearing on the MTV Video Music Awards stage is at the very least a Class II member of the Illuminati. Don't even get me started about my thoughts on the moon landing!
10. Their Social Security Number Contains Wingdings
The word Illuminati translates to "enlightened one," and anyone that is capable of correctly folding a fitted sheet is clearly a witch, a warlock, or possesses the timeless wisdom of the centuries-old secret society known as the Illuminati.